im lost again
well im lost again... there just isnt ne where for me to go im kinda stuck in the center of a maze and its called long beach. well i was supposed to go to usm for my 4 years of college but apparently my God had other plans. So yeah now im going to go to a junior college then to the big one. its all good i guess i got a half tuition scholarship so yeah. there is really only one good thing about this change... ill get to see jen more often but speaking of that. i unfortunately got some news that broke my heart, she doesnt feel the same way about me. im still hurting but im starting to feel better. i still love her and im going to be her friend as long as she wants me to be and if she ever changes her mind about me ill be there thats just how ive always been NEVER GIVING UP HOPE AS LONG AS THERE IS SOME HOPE TO GIVE UP. but yeah so my house got hit by lightning and killed a whole bunch of electronics in my house but not my room HAHA. so yeah im so confused now im at a point where i just feel my life is pointless. i just feel i do no good for ne one. i mean i try to be a good person and help ppl but i get shti (shti=bad stuff) in return. so i wonder if who i am is a bad person and if i am a bad person what is good? i dont know ive tried so much stuff that just doesnt work out for me. now i know i shouldnt think this but it just seems like my god puts me thru this crap as a joke or a lesson. only she knows. but i watched this movie called CLERKS and it gave me some very good prophecies on life. IM NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE TODAY- DANTE. i just dont know what to do with my life. its going nowhere fast and i need to slow it down. and just now i found out something that just killed ne chance of my life going ne where, so being in long beach now is definitely a bad thing and i am now emotionally fubar..../cry... im sorry... bye