I Give Up
u know there has been a lot since the last time i wrote in here. i dont exactly remember all of it so ill work with what i got. well lets see i still am having headaches and sleep issues more than ever and now my stomach hurts all the time and i have no appitite. i enjoyed my parents being away. no parties unfortunatly but i have been to some parties the past 2 days and ive got to say those have been teh 2 worst days ive had in a long time. now bc jen would possibly read this im not going in to it. if you care ask me personally. yeah a funny thing happened after the party tonight i went to the votech center bc i was just about to freak and i talked to myself for a little while and as i was leaving there i got to the place where i had my accident. well i get there and i picture to myself what i was doing b4 the wreck and i remember i was asking my god to give me a sign wether i am supposed to be with the girl of my dreams. and then it happened Bamm. well i was there tonight and i just looked up at a street sign and i couldnt believe my eyes. wether this is a coincidence or a sign from my god or what but the road name is the same as her last name. i sware it was really creepy. so yeah but i just dont know nething ne more i had a good nights in general but there were just points in teh parties that just like everyone was taking a knife and stabbing me and i guess that just ruined it. but yeah ive never been one to just give up on something. but i just dont know if i can take ne more punishment and thats what this feels like as if everytime i think about her someone takes a sledgehammer to my chest. but i dont want to give up but it doesnt seem like i have much hope left. i still wear the braclet for hope. hope that one day my dreams may come true but its never happened b4 and unlike my earlier beliefs it not going to happen now. so i say right now in front of everyone whos read this that i give up on nething that would make me be nething else than who i am and i am adam and i wouldnt change for the world. i have been a sweet kind loving responsibe person since i moved here and apparently despite what girls say im not what they want but im me and thats all i can be. i give up. i just wish there was something more that i could do to possibly have her feel the same way i feel about her. its just the way my life goes... but for now im done i dont know when ill write again but again im done good night sweet dreams and just remember without hope you have no reason to have a future.